It's been a long time since I have blogged. These days, a few thoughts have me up at night. I hate this feeling, but at the same time, it's the one that moves me to change and action. Our lives are moving full steam ahead, all the while falling apart at the seams. As I laid in bed last night overwhelmed, I remebered all the things I have been brought out of and through in life. In my short 28 yrs of life, I have been blessed to see the Lords mighty hand of provision. I HATE needing him, or anyone! The fact is, I need Him whether I acknowledge it or not. I lay, tears down my face to be back in a position I know all to well. The feelings of inadequecy, desperation, greif. We have been poverty stricken for 6 yrs now. We have times when we see the ligh at the end of the tunnel, and than it seems covered in darkness. Not for lack of trying, we end up here once again. People pitty the poor. I hate pitty. I force belief, faith, love, strength, patience, kindness. I hate being preached at about this area of my life. when someone yells at you to have faith, it DOES NOT PRODUCE FAITH! I read back through some old blogs, yep God held me through. I know He is here today. These are just some thoughts, nothing incredibly uplifting or perfectly stated. No theories or scriptures to "back me up". I speak openly, struggle sucks, butin the end, we are better off for the storms that make us stronger, better, more complete people.