No Fear

Well everyone, what seemed like a simple doctors visit has made an interesting turn. I have been struggling with some serious stomache pain over the past five months. I thought I was suffering from some gallbladder issues and placed myself on the "gallstone diet". However, the pain has been getting worse and making me nervous. Anyhow, I decided to go to the doctors. The only thing holding me back from going to the docs earlier was my lack of medical insurance. Anyway, I went to be seen and the NP seeing me was more concerned with the size of my thyroid. She sent me for bloodwork and ultrasounds for both the gallbladder and thyroid. Turns out, I do not have gallstones, but I do however have two fairly large nodules (I'll spare you the details) on my thyroid, and do to some other clinical findings, this is going to need to be biopsied. So, I will be enduring a test tomorrow (upper GI with sm intestine follow thru) and then the biopsy on my thyroid next fri.

All this to say, I was devastated at first! This is an understatement. Now, if you know me well, you know that I spent the better part of my entire life with a terribly ill mother. My mom suffered from many illnesses as well as Cancers. This news brought out a lot of fear in me, initially. I felt like a loss for words. "I do not want my mom's life!!" I kept saying "this can't happen, it just can't". The mere idea that my children and husband may have to endure what my family did, I'm sorry, but it's more than I can handle.

I have been deep in prayer and worship this past week. Thank you Jesus, for giving me a peace that passes all understanding. Now, I know that I am not my past, nor does my past predict my future. I have hope where it belongs. The Lord guided me to a verse this week, I am standing on this verse as truth. So, I ask that you join me in praying this truth into mine and my family's life.

Proverbs 3:5-12 The Message
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.
Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
your wine vats will brim over.
But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline;
don't sulk under his loving correction.
It's the child he loves that God corrects;
a father's delight is behind all this.