So, Isaac tells me today that he can't remember what Daddy looks like! Oy! So I said well maybe we should look through some photos later so you can see him. He was ok with that answer, but stated that it would be ok if he got a new Daddy for a little while since he wants to play baseball, and he wants to learn how to ride his bike without training wheels. Oh man, this broke my heart! I tried to remain calm, as he is only five and has no idea what he is saying. So, I told him to practice on his bike real good, and when daddy returns in a few weeks he would be excited to teach him how to ride without the training wheels. Of course this became a discussion on how long a few weeks is. Ugh, they do not hand you a manual on how to raise kids in the military. They say there is tons of support, but unless I want to pack all my kids up on my own and take them for a trip down to the base and back, lets just say it doesn't sound fun. They had told Jonathan that they would be calling me weekly..umm you-hoo..no calls yet! So, we plug along. Every minute seems to be filled with new emotions. One minute I feel empowered to do anything, I am strong, confident, and able..the very next I am weak, exhausted, and incompetent.

On a good note I can join the pool around the corner for free this summer, do to Jonathan being active right now!! Can I get a woop woop? I'm just saying, that's exciting;) Of course, that will require great strength and courage. To bring four little ones to the pool by yourself, when you are as norotic as I am about water, and children, is frightning.

We will see. I can do this. This is not the end of the world. My sister brought up a good point today. She said honestly Bekah you aren't doing that much more with him gone. You always do everything anyway. Honestly this is true, although there have been a few things I have truly needed him for ..such as the pickle jar. Anywho, it's not that I am doing sooo much more, it's that I do not have his support. I do need him, just in different ways. Plus, my kids are not all emotionally inept with both of us around.

I don't know, I just do need him around, like by phone or anything at all. I would not have married him if I thought life would be great without him. Also, the kids really need to not be waking me up at 5 in the morning anymore! It is light out now that early, so I am totally confused and I end up getting up and putting on the tv. I'm totally clueless to the time until it is to late.

25 days<3