You know, this whole time my hubs has been away, I have barely seen any of our friends at all. I mean this makes perfect sense, who would want to just hang out with me and the kids? I'm having a bit of an identity crisis. I don't know who I am without him. Is this a picture of what life would be like if he ceased to exhist? Ugh I don't want to think about it.

So, Isaac told me today that he wants me to leave and go live at the Air foce and he wants Daddy to come home. To which I told him Daddy will be home in just a few weeks, and that I know it is hard. He then said no, he wants me gone, away, far away, or even dead. I choked back some tears, he is only 5. You know Isaac says alot of interesting things. I'm not sure if it is completely normal. He also told me today that it would be ok if the baby died , cuz God could just give me a new one in my belly. All the while, he was kissing her face off and talking to her in a sweet loving baby voice. Of course we then had to have a long discussion on the value of human life. Also, he was playing with a latex balloon and biting it, so I asked him to stop as he could choke on it and it would get trapped in his wind pipe and he could die! He then said it would be ok if he died cuz he would finally get to see Jesus, and he would be happy up in heaven. I then said no, it isn't ok if you die, mommy would cry everyday and be very very sad if i lost you..to which he asked "why would you be upset if I am with Jesus?" OMG this kid is gonna do me in.

20days<3