A few weeks ago I traveled halfway across country with a van load of clothes and kids. We survived the trip, and actually enjoyed it! We had a few rough days, but all in all we felt tremendously blessed to be together. Well, we arrived to our new home around 6pm. We pulled into what looked like an abandoned apartment complex, it's not, it's just kinda run down. I immediately feared the nights to come, alone without my hubby in this deprived place. We met up with D'Wayne (Landlord) in the parking lot, he was clothed in a red flannel, blue jeans, and cowboy boots. D' Wayne led the way to the house, I couldn't help but notice the skinny, greasy ponytail, tucked up into his ragged hat (ewe). The house was filled with musty old furniture that Mr D'wayne was so kind to bring in for us. Isaac's asthma was not a fan of the furnishings, Jonathan had a big job that night loading all of it into a spare bedroom, this room is not used, and is forbidden.
So, we started with a three bedroom house, and now are down to a one bedroom house with a playroom. That first night in this house, in a new town, and state, I felt so far away from home. I have been much further from home, but not for 3mos, or with kids. Jonathan asked me as we lay there freezing, " Are you gonna make it? Or should I just call my parents now?" I laughed and said "lets just wait till morning."
Well, it's been 22 days, and I am still here. I am determined to survive, and thrive. As a mom of four there are things that you "need" daily. IE; washer/ dryer, garbage disposal, dishwasher, microwave, beds, dressers, sofas, cable TV. Well, I am learning to live without such things. We do have beds, air beds. We also have a TV bon found, it's 15" and plays DVDs thru our portable DVD set, we got for the car on Christmas! We also have blow up sofas, well sofa, one is busted already;)
Life without, is just fine. I share a room with my kids, and I am fine. I do all the dishes by hand, I am fine, I lug all the kids and laundry to the laundromat, 20mins away 2x a week, I am fine. I am no worse for ware, I am simply busy. I have to argue the point that I may not be much busier without all these things than I am with them.
We are more resilient than we know. I am convinced that a life without struggle, or stretching, is depleted in worth. I feel blessed to be spending this time with my husband, and children. I am not working while I am away and it is AWESOME. Now, clearly being a mom and wife is work enough. I have a constant struggle with believing my Lord will protect me here on my own. I struggle every night to fall asleep in the unsettling silence. I will not allow fear to rule me. It's easier said than done, but I am determined to be bigger than my fears. This may all seem so silly to some, but this is a real battle for me. I am away from my support system, friends, family, coworkers. I am in a new place where people speak and act differently. Of course, there is the whole new Air force life thing I am not so keen on yet.
A few yrs ago I felt that I was to embrace adventure, allow, and encourage Jonathan to follow his dreams. Every day, and mercies, always new!
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