We all know those people, the ones who know everything about everything. They seem to speak out of turn and embellish every story. I live in terror that I may be one of them! Someone who is ignorant to others struggles and talks on. The one who has a story for every single thing you share. Like you say " man I'm tired" they say " just wait till you have kids" you say "my job has been so stressful lately" they say "you have no idea what it's like to work in healthcare". Every statement is met with a greater expression of pride, stress, strength, or defeat. What is it about hearing someone's story that we feel the need to respond with something more than? Can we simply acknowledge the joy, or suffering without adding our own issues into the mix? I personally find this difficult at times. It's tough stuff to remove myself and my own life from someone's experiences. This is something I've learned a bit about as a mom. We moms can be brutal. Lets just face the fact that being mommy is ridiculously difficult and move on. If you have one child or 20, you're a parent. Moms are a very special breed of friend. If you are lucky you will find a few ladies who are non judgmental (at least to your face), keep them forever whatever it takes! I have been bombarded in grocery stores, malls, libraries, and the like. Moms of all ages criticizing and judging me, my children and my parenting "style". I have fled from stores in tears. Is this the goal, a goal of belittling other moms until they break?! We are all guilty of this to some degree. You think you will never do it, and then you are faced with the new mom. You suddenly have thoughts "she has no idea, just wait until...". We moms need to stick together instead of tearing each other apart. Clearly this does not just apply to moms, but this is a group dear to my heart. I became a mom on a rainy spring day 8 years, four months, and 6 days ago. From that day on, I have faced more self reflection than I ever thought possible, self doubt and flat out GUILT! That's right folks, mom's walk around with 24/7 guilt trips! There is not one decision I make from what we eat for breakfast to where I work, that I don't feel guilt over. It starts with breast feeding vs bottle guilt, than we upped it to crying it out to rocking and coddling guilt. There is no end to the madness. The thing is, I would feel overwhelmed and reach out for a shoulder and get smacked in the face with an ignorant response. Look, if you are currently wrestling with how to feed your baby its a BIG deal for you. If in a few years it turns into potty training issues, guess what, its a BIG deal for you. It doesn't matter the struggle or guilt trip, we all have them and one is not far greater than the next. We only know what we experience, but we could make a choice to treat others moms with the respect we ourselves would appreciate. There is no need to match and up every thing said to me. I know, I know, the guilt makes us have to respond to the other mom with a better story so we don't feel so bad. It doesn't work to "one up". Just this morning I had a mom tell me that she can't believe I would bring four kids to get groceries with me..then asked if they were all mine..then onto how do you do it..and all by yourself too..you must be exhausted...are their fatherS around much to help...do you work...well GOD bless you! This lady must have lost her mind, or so I thought. In reality this is the norm. Outspoken moms are everywhere. They spit their mommy venom on innocent victims from grocery stores to school parking lots. Why so judgmental of me and my trip to the store? How does this affect her? Guilt, that's how. We all allow guilt to eat us alive, we speak and act out propelled by its venomous serum. So, ladies, this is my public apology to all mommies. If I have ever treated you as less than, please forgive me. Not one of us knows the complete story of the other. I'm not sure I will ever completely overcome the guilt trip I'm on, but I can possibly make better choices and consciously act instead of react to other moms.
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