waiting for the peace

I am not sure who I am in life without my best friend, my husband. Almost every person at the party today asked me how Bon was doing or if he liked it. Hello!! He is not allowed to call me, I have not a single frickin clue what is going on with him!! I don't know when, if ever, he will call or how long it will be for, or what it will be about. I miss him so much I am sick. I'm not upset with people for asking..it's a natural thing to do in conversation. I just don't know what to do with myself. I feel weird, alone, preoccupied, lost. I hope I do not come off as disturbed when speaking with others..ha ha. Although, I did have a few moments today when Jonathan was not on my mind..it was peaceful..they passed quickly.